Tag Archives: shelli

3 Months into Daddydom: More Things Learned & Observed

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image by Weusi

So … it feels like a lot has happened since my last post. I’ve learned a few things in the past 3 months!

Shelli started back to work this week and my role as full time father got EXTRA real, but it felt really natural and I think I handled it well. Being kind of comfortable with the baby has me a little nervous, but then again, I’ve been doing this for 3 months already. I better have some idea of what I’m doing, right?

Well, anyway … I would like to start this with 2 special shout-outs.

Tameeka the Curl Whisperer of Jaded Tresses! At the baby shower, she gave us a bunch of baby wipes. And to my homie Gesthemane for making the baby wipe solution to keep me environmentally conscious! THANK YOU! I had no idea how many we would go through! It’s almost time to re-up!

Other things on my mind …

How can a baby look so cute when they yawn, but have breath that smells worse than spoiled milk! LAWD!

Don’t trust pacifiers.

THANK GOD for pacifiers!

You will know who your real friends are when they humorously respond to the emails and texts that you send in your state of sleep deprivation with serious information.

One should not try to do school work, such as writing papers or studying for a test, when you are on the tail end of the overnight shift when retention and punctuation are important.

You gotta know when and how to maximize the use of the dishwasher.

12 weeks is not 3 months … it’s 12 weeks … but … it’s 3 months too!

The rate of growth and development for a baby is mind blowing! Why were there clothes that she outgrew before she even got to put them on!?!

There is a MAJOR difference between Daddydom and Daddy Dom. When I say Daddydom, I mean fatherhood … not the Daddy Dominatrx kink stuff!

One should remember to take the burp cloth off of their shoulder when going out in public. I keep finding it on my shoulder when I am out and about.

Mixing formula is an art and a science. *hint: warm the water a little before you add the formula.

I still don’t have a nickname for Wyntr. Shelli calls her Pumpkin. Amongst other things, I still call her lil’ mama, peanut butter brown and lil’ doo-wop. I kinda like calling her by her middle name, Abrihet, but my favorite nickname for her is Stinky Booty!

I still don’t know what Wyntr is gonna call me. Right now, I am feeling “Poppy.”

Wyntr is road trip tested and ready to clock mileage! We recently traveled to Trenton, NJ where she saw my 100 year old maternal grandmother.

And then to Charlottesville, VA to see my 86 & 87 year young paternal grandparents (Virginia Granny and Pops).

wyntr and VA granny      20150403_112315

Then we dipped down to Virgilina, VA for the wedding of Shelli’s cousin, where she met up with the Gillis clan!

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Afterwards we went to the Bull City, Durham, NC, and saw my parents and a few of my friends.

(Sorry … all my peoples were in disbelief that I was father and were so in awe of Wyntr that we forgot to take pictures!)

And then to DC to holler at a few more of my friends.

Yeah, we kinda forgot to take pictures again!

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And then to Woodstown, NJ where Wyntr got to see Shelli’s other grandmother for the first time!

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And her play Aunt Peggy.

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And then HOME!

It was a great experience. No baby issues! And Wyntr had the chance to meet all 4 of her great-grandmother’s over the course of a week! That is 4 LIVING generations. Can everyone say GOOD GENES?! I love that we will show her pictures of the history of which she is a part.

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I am the baby whisperer/the closer.

The other day, I got Wyntr ready so that we could go out and I could do some shopping!

image (Headband by jellybeancompany. Good people. Good product. The ETSY shop opens May 1)

And then she realized that we were not going to Buy Buy Baby and she went straight to sleep.

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ZZZZZZ’s

The takeaway from the experience: Wyntr is like her mother. She doesn’t like grocery shopping. But Wyntr has only been out shopping with me once. I will make it a part of our routine and I will try to teach her to love it. Secondly, it took me a little work to figure out this Baby Bjorn thingy, but it’s great for going out and doing things when you need 2 hands.

AND YO … Why didn’t anyone warn me that I would gain post-partum weight?! And on that note, is anyone ready for a fitness challenge starting May 1?

And that’s about all I wanna say right now!

SHiNE

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It’s Officially Spring and … SHELLI’S BIRTHDAY!

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It’s Spring and … SHELLI”S BIRTHDAY!!!

By Weusi

 

It’s officially spring time y’all … “cuff a snuggle buddy b’cus it’s cold outside” season is over! It’s time for LOVE! So come out of hibernation and thaw out. While you are at it please wish Shelli a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

And in honor of my love and the first day of Spring I want to share a few of my favorite happy, feel good love songs with the Hairscapades community. These are in no particular order. Well except for the first one …

 

Love on Top by Beyonce (this is our song)

***this video is a homage to New Edition’s If It Isn’t Love

 

 

Never too Much by Luther Vandross

 

 

As by Stevie Wonder

“I’ll be loving you always … “

 

 

Only One by PJ Morton

“You’re the only one that I need … one that I need …”

*** This dude plays keys for Maroon 5 and is signed to Little Wayne’s label Young Money

Nakamarra by Hiatus Kaiyote

“I love you … Love you … “

 

 

Fortunate by Maxwell (I gotta throw in a slow jam!)

“I’m so glad you’re in my world …”

 ***interesting side note that makes me HATE that I LOVE this song … this was written by R. Kelly

So in Love by Jill Scott featuring Anthony Hamilton

“I’m so in love with you … “

 

 

Rock with You by Michael Jackson

“you know that love survives … and we can rock forever … “

*click here for a rare live performance

 

 

A few song that made my list but they didn’t have videos …

Kissing You by K’Alyn

Run to the Sun by N.E.R.D.

Kiss Kiss Kiss by Ananda Project

I am an ex-DJ and can do this forever but i think that it would be more fun if you shared some of your favorite spring cleaning, good vibration tunes! Let’s celebrate the new season … and Shelli’s birthday! (All languages welcome!)

 

SHiNE

 

*** and look out for the eclipse tonight!

1 Month of #DADDYDOM … A Few Things I’ve Learned and Observed

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IMG_8378by Weusi

In the past 30 days, what was formerly known as fatherhood and shall be called DADDYDOM henceforth, I have learned and been reminded about a few things … in no particular order … well except for the first being … God is GREAT and because of this, I am very blessed! And now … the rest of the list …

Little girls can direct their stream of pee.

People stay fakin’ the funk … talking about babies look so cute … WHATEVER! You know and I know that a lot of babies kinda look the same the first few weeks! It isn’t that they are cute … it’s that damn near all of ’em kinda look the same and no one wants to call them anything other than cute. We could call them chubby, low-functioning, little pie-faced blobs of new human-ness. Don’t get me wrong … they are cute, but that’s really because we’ve been conditioned to see them that way. But honestly, it’s not a special look.

I don’t see my daughter as a cute little baby to play with and spoil. I see her as the child for whom I am responsible. I have to help mold and prepare her for the world.

Wyntr Abrihet may never know her name because, in addition to being summoned by Wyntr, Wyntr Abrihet or Abrihet, she has a plethora of nicknames! Shelli calls her … Pumpkin, Boobie, booga, booga-booga, Sweet Potato, Chunka Munka, boo-key and other things. I call her: Lil’ Sunshine, Sunshine (But not like the character Sunshine in Boomerang), Chicken Wing (she does this thing with her arms … kinda like that dance Kendrick Lamar does in the video for “i”), Lil’ Mama, Wyn Boogie, Hiccup (she has had them since before she got here), and Stinky Booty. She might be a little confused. I can’t wait until her personality kicks in and she earns a real nickname. Wyntr is one of the FRESHEST names ever! No vowels. Y is only a part-time vowel. It doesn’t count! Who remembers this?!

Freeez – I.O.U.

Sometimes you just have let a baby cry. Don’t let the babies cry … figure out why they are crying. Sleep is a PRICELESS commodity. Women are super humans … if you don’t know why, then you may have subhuman intelligence. Babies are milk-a-holics. Music makes the world go around. It can have a great influence on an individual. When combined with a plethora of other factors, it has the ability to influence various aspects of one’s life. In my case, as someone who DJ’d on college radio and in lounges, it not only shaped who I have become, it also helped me to inspire others. I love that, in addition to listening to A Love Supreme by John Coltrane, Wyntr has jewels like these to chill her when she starts to get a little moody when being changed. image

Having a measure of time to mark events and to try to schedule things is good … and needed … BUT … with babies, there are many moments that just happen without regard to time.

New fathers … you may never be the same after that first diaper of that merconium tar stuff! I still can’t comprehend how all that fit inside her. It must expand when it hits the air!

A baby’s immune system can easily be compromised, so you can’t really take them on road trips to DC and NC right away!

If you have a baby and you have a partner, wife, husband, special friend, significant other, etc. … communicate with them! And do it in a manner where you just assume that both parties are sleep deprived, hungry, and borderline insane. Meaning, be conscious about the pace, tone, wording, and non-verbal presentation of information.

Did I already say something about sleep having incredible value in a parent’s life?

goodnight …

SHiNE

The Countdown!

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shower3by Weusi

Ok … over the next few days, I’m gonna give you a peek into the mind and the life of a 44 year old that is about to be a father for the first time. Right now, these are a few of the things on my mind …

First, I want to be done with the baby’s room. Like really done. Not the, “You’ll get it when we need it” done. Or, “We’ll just put some things on the walls” kinda done. I mean the, “We don’t have to think about it anymore” done. In a few days there will be NOTHING relevant to me except the well-being, health, and happiness of my baby girl and my wife. I already don’t care too much about aesthetics, so forgive me if … no, im not asking for forgiveness … now you’ll know why I may be lacking tact next week. I’m focused. And it’s not on anyone or anything but my wife and My Baby! The issue is that my wife is so nice that, to keep her happy, I have to be nice at times when I only want to be honest. It’s hard sometimes and has been one of the most valuable things I have (re-) learned about myself while with Shelli. And I know that this skill will be valuable as a father.

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Next thought … We picked a pediatrician. That was a reality check. My baby has a doctor.  She isn’t even here yet! Reality check … BOOM!

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And … we attended some classes last week on parenting and breastfeeding. More than the information that was shared, it was encouraging to see that other people felt like they could benefit from speaking to an expert about these processes. Science, technology, and access to information has changed so drastically and rapidly over the years that a new parent will always feel like there is something on which they need to be updated. I really appreciate parents of previous generations. I was born in 1970. Things were so different then. I knew that I was a preemie, but I just found out that I was only 4 lbs 3 ounces at birth. I stayed in the hospital about 3 weeks. I imagine that felt like an eternity for my parents … and that’s why they told me I was there for 6 weeks! Note: Grandparents’ exaggeration is entirely another blog! All that to say, I feel very blessed that My Baby Girl will be the beneficiary of all this informatiom and modern know how.

Then there’s the fact that … I really miss my community in DC and NC. I wish that people weren’t so far away. I really want to celebrate this with all those people that had a part in making me the person I am today. I’ve been been helped by many. And schooled by so many lessons from so many people. I think it would be incredible to raise a child with all those aunts and uncles around! Hopefully we will have plenty of playdates in DC and DC (Durham County, NC!). Parenthood has also made me re-evaluate my personal paradigms of community and my role in it (If anyone is interested, I’ll write about that as well).

And … the advice I most often get from parents is get some sleep now, because the first few months can be rough. But, it’s 6:30 am and I’m awake. I have been sleeping off and on for about a week now. Part of me feels like my body is being conditioned for the baby’s arrival and part of me is just excited to the point where I can’t sleep. This is WAY BETTER than the excitement of any holiday or any event in my life. I was tired the night before the wedding. I slept like a baby. I have a post about my perspective of the wedding experience. Shelli will post it eventually (Hint-Hint!).

Now … can I talk with you about “nesting?” It’s a dumb term! What it really should be called is what it is … getting your house ready for a baby. And I consider y’all my peoples, so why didn’t anyone warn me that this is when Shelli was going into “organizing/nesting” from an aesthetic to practical mentality, but I was focused on practicality and was gonna be happy that things were neat and safe with little regard to aesthetics! We are lucky that we love each other and that we both have the ability to articulate why we would prefer for something to be one way or dislike something when it is another way. I imagine that those conversations may have churned up some turmoil in some other couples lives!

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And finally … I have decided to be called Pop or Pops by my daughter. It won out over Baba, which is a term that many African-centered fathers use to maintain African cultural significance. I feel that our Blackness and connection to Africa will be manifested in other ways throughout her daily interactions. Dad or Daddy seem too regular for me. Plus, they start off as sounds. She will be calling everyone Da-Da just because that will be one of the first sounds she is able to create. I will work with her to develop the oratory skills necessary to say Pops. Plus it makes it logical that her grandfathers be called Pop-Pop because they are the Pop of her mom and Pop!

Ok … that’s more than enough for now. Sorry about that. I have more on my mind than I thought!

#SHiNE

I ♥ My Beard

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I know I haven’t been writing much, but I kind of figured that you all would be more interested in the GOC stories and Shelli’s videos (did you know that you can subscribe to her youtube channel, skillsgill, and follow her on twitter @Hairscapades?). Anyway … I’ve got a good one with plenty of pictures for ya here. I hope that you enjoy it. It was fun for me and I hope that it at least gives you a few talking points about sports, music and socio-political issues to engage people (I really gotta do this writing thing more!).

OK … So …

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by Weusi

I got his package in the mail a few weeks ago. The return address just says Casually Debonair … It leaves me scratching my head. Obviously … this has something to do with Hairscapades.

I open it … pull out the contents … then scratch my head!

The bottle says, “Casually Debonair 7.” And then, in smaller print, “Men’s MDXV Beard Moisturizing Lotion” … and, on the back, it says a bunch of stuff … but the print is too small for me to read.

Shelli comes home and I show the package to her. She says that I agreed to review a product a few weeks prior.

I’m like, “Cool” … but … ummm … there are 5 little issue here …

#1 … I like my beard … as it is. I like to rub it and occasionally scratch it to enjoy the manly coarseness of my beard! It’s mine!

(Get these t-shirts for your beard-wielding friends, as well as the original I love my hair gear for adults and youth, from my homie KissaStarr of www.buttaflyunltd.com.)

#2 … What ya see is what ya get. I’m a pretty all natural kinda dude. I’m not really a beard product type of cat, ya dig? The only products I use on my hair are the natural shampoos that Shelli brings home and my coconut oil based magic juices and berries! And, the latter I use from head to toe, so there’s no need to use anything else.

#3 … I don’t know what this stuff is made of! I can’t read the print … it’s too small!

#4 … I was about to trim my beard (Shelli’s fly … I can’t be looking all scraggly and beat up! She’s gotta reputation and a brand. I’m not gonna mess things up!). So, I trim my beard and we go gather the families … many of you have seen and/or read about this event and seen those pics already (if not, they’re here.) Then, a week or so passes and my beard has grown out a little … so, I muster the nerve to put this stuff on my face.

I realize that I am not the best person to get a baseline reading of my beard’s softness, so I ask Shelli to rub my beard a little (I like this!) and I apply the MDXV Beard Lotion … Then, it happened …

I started rubbing my beard in awe! I ask Shelli to touch my beard again … now we’re both marveling at the change in texture! I’m feeling soft and sexy like the beard and voice of THE MAESTRO: Barry White.

Shelli is touching my beard and it feels GREAT, but I’m so amazed and my beard feels so good, I just wanna touch it myself!

THIS STUFF IS THE TRUTH!!!

EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE THIS!!!

OK … not everyone … but people like … maybe …

GREGORY PORTER (vocalist). Because he’s a great throwback into the future of music (if you’re not up on him … you’re welcome!).

For real … this guy is SOOOO nice … I had to share 2 tunes with you …

Be Good (lion’s song)

(Thank you Pierre @exiththeapple and shawn @shawnpeters.)

Illusion

THIERRY HENRY (Arsenal & NY Red Bulls). He’s a real deal footballer. And this is one of the reasons the ladies love soccer players!

And yes … soccer players like basketball too.

(This is for you Buggs!)

BARON DAVIS (New York Knicks). They needed some help in the playoffs! Maybe next year they’ll have more beards and this will give the team the power of Sampson. But, for now, B.D. is my favorite bearded one in the NBA. I’ll show you why a little later (I hope that he recovers from his injury)!

JAMES HARDEN (Oklahoma City Thunder). He caught a MEAN elbow from Metta World Peace that gave him a concussion and was out of the line up for a heartbeat … he could have used that time to rest and work on his chin mane. Now, he’s in playoff mode and can still use it … because, a good feeling chin can lead to a win! I just made that up … sorry! (The OKC Thunder are deep in it right now, I’m sure that any help will be appreciated).

I guess that I should give Lebron and his beard some love, because he stays struggling in the playoffs (maybe because he trimmed his beard!).

On a side note: I want the Miami Heat to win the championship … mainly because of all the flack that they gave them for being smart, young brothers that utilized their power and influence. OK, they went a little overboard with the theatrical announcement, but … that couldn’t have been done without the franchise’s permission and, more than likely, it was the franchises idea. BUT … I want Dwayne Wade to be the highlight of the team. People really need to know that, although Lebron is a great player, D-Wade has IT*!

*By IT, I mean the, “I WIN” gene … He also has HER (see, she’s not always wearing a weave).

(Shelli knows that I dig her smile and her down to earth demeanor … but … as one who enjoys a little competition and trash talking, but shuns extra attention and drama, I just wanna say, “Gabbbi, chill out a little when you’re court side” [yes, in my mind, we’re cool like that!]. Peep THIS, if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)

**FOR THE RECORD: I’m really a 76ers fan, but we don’t have any big beards … BUT … we were in the second round of the playoffs for the first time in a long time. Thursday was game 7 against the Boston Celtics … another team that I respect. They have the small dude Rondo, Kevin “The Game Changer” Garnett (he negotiated his contract with a team of lawyers instead of an agent) and Ray “Jesus Shuttleworth” Allen (no, I don’t like Paul Pierce) … anyway …

FIDEL CASTRO (Cuba). Because it may make him happy and … therefore … make the world a happier place!?!

And to stay ahead of the trend … instead of sending some Casually Debonair to Rick Ross … send some to STALLEY!

AND … oh yeah … that fifth thing … so …

#5 … There was something else in the package … but, I can’t tell you exactly what it is, because it’s a top secret prototype “sexybeardinator” type thing (yes, that was a Shelli inspired, Phineas & Ferb reference!).

But, it kind of doesn’t matter … the product is so good, everything else is like buttercream icing on the cake!

I’m sure that we’ll be able to announce the secret soon! Right CASUALLY DEBONAIR!?!

Anyway … I know I hit everyone with the jazzy feel of Gregory Porter earlier, so I wanna do little hip hop for you too. Here’s one in honor of CASUALLY DEBONAIR’s MDXV BEARD LOTION and beards world wide … Here’s a video from my NC homie/producer, SKI BEATZ, featuring STALLEY and his beard. Well, actually, it’s Stalley’s voice and his beard … here’s a fun video …

S.T.A.L.L.E.Y.

And, if you are a fan of beards, roller skating, New Edition and basketball, you’re gonna love Baron Davis in this (I LOVE almost everything about this … but you can like one thing or all of these things!).

One shot

I know that this is a kind of long post. But, like I said, I haven’t written in a while … I had a lot to get out of my system! I hope that you enjoyed the info. (I really need to write more!)

Catch ya later …

SHiNE,
Weusi