Tag Archives: male perspective

Some of Weusi’s 2014 Highlights … and a Happy New Year!

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by Weusi

I know that neither of us have been writing much. And I know that many of you will be disappointed that there are no hair tips in this post. But, as many of you may know, we are a little distracted. We have a baby on the way! But as we sit here … Shelli, asleep on her side, with a pillow tucked under her pretty little tummy, I have a computer on my lap and a mind full of words. So … what do I do? I decide to write! The past year has been full of ups and downs. I just want to share a few of my favorite moments …

release the beast on the soccer field

My big lil’ cuz, Ebony E-Boogie Thomas (she’s younger than me but is like 5′ 9″), shared this great pic with me early in 2014 and it’s my favorite #TBT pic … oh, yeah … that’s my pops looking like a light skinned Shaft unleashing a young Weusi on the football/soccer field.

giant stadium super bowl

I worked on the Super Bowl Halftime Show, which was an amazing experience. And I can’t front … Bruno Mars did his thing!

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Then this happened!

shelli 10 weeks to 24 weeks preggo

THERE IS A PERSON IN THERE …

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And science says she kinda looks like this. We’ll see in a week!

weusi hands up hood up

I know that this isn’t a positive thing in the eyes of many, but it should/could be an empowering and motivational thing for many. The hands up and hood up poses are undoubtedly a piece of history. We’ll see if the USA owns up it is as their history!?!

This also led to one of my favorite musical moments of the year … BE FREE by J. Cole. I love the emotional content he’s able to convey. “All we wanna do it take the chains off. All we wanna do is be free …”

granny neecy weusi f brown

My grandmother turned 100! Here she is with my Aunt Neecy, myself, and her 95 year young brother F. Brown (RIP).

anthony avery weusi and the pumpkin

I won another pumpkin at the pumpkin toss thingy! Thanks for inviting me out to Anthony, Avery and Jaclyn (not pictured)!

jayz and beyonce as frida and basquiat

I can’t front. This is one of the freshest halloween costumes ever! Frida & Basquiat! (i don’t know who Blue is)

My FAVORITE commercial of the year … I’m getting some cold cuts. I laugh out loud EVERY time i see it … and I don’t even eat cold cuts!I think I really enjoy the fact that someone is out there celebrating something that most people see as a mundane, day-to-day occurrence with such exuberance!

weusi overwhelmed at the baby shower

The baby shower. I was kind of overwhelmed at the expressions of love that this baby is coming into. I find myself thankful and humbled almost daily by the well wishes and love from close friends and acquaintances.

And then there is the end of the Colbert Report. That didn’t mean much to me, but the excitement of a powerful performance of a POWERFUL song and the anticipation of new music from Kendrick Lamar has me really looking forward to 2015.

weusi and shelli ugly sweaters

I also wanted to say that I REALLY thank you all for being so supportive of Shelli this past year. We really appreciate your prayers and well wishes. This has been an INCREDIBLE year. God is good! I wish you all the best in 2015!

#SHiNE

Perks

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by Weusi

Sometimes at the end of a gig, I walk away with a perk or two. Often, I take home some snacks, a few beverages, a candle from Pier 1, or some gadget from Bed, Bath and Beyond that I end up giving to someone before I even make it home. Then something special happened.

It was the end of a long day. I wanted to get home to Shelli. Then I saw him/it. And right there … behind the batman statue … was Ricky’s NYC (if you don’t know about it click the link!).

Initially, all I thought about was taking the picture of Batman. So, what you don’t see is the young lady handing out promo stuff.

I told her my wife had a blog and asked if she had any products for a curly girl. And then boom … I walk away with a bag of goodies! Some Miss Jessie’s, some Keratin stuff, some Mixed Chicks stuff, and a bunch of stuff I had no idea what it was … Win!

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On the way home, I realized Shelli doesn’t need any of this! I would just be enabling the product junkie in her. So, last weekend, I gave the bag to  Corey, one of my homies from FC Harlem. Why am I giving her products to someone else? They doen’t even know each other?

Well, actually … Corey has heard me talk about Shelli for some time. Then, he finally looks at my Facebook page and sees a picture of us. He says, “Yo, does your wife have a natural hair blog? I think I follow her.” We laughed about it for a heartbeat, but then he started to ask me a bunch of questions about products for his hair. I told him to check out the site and that everyone’s hair is different. So, that’s why I gave the bag to him!

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 See, we threw in a few full-size products from our stash too!

And, he’s gonna give me a few product reviews from a guy’s perspective!

Now, I know you are asking, so what did I do or get for Shelli? For her, the love of my life … I did something I have never done professionally. I took a picture … just for her! While on another gig, I sent her a picture to let people know I don’t look like the person she says people say I look like. And she gets a special super exclusive picture that I only share with her … and my mom … until now!

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And I guess he’s taller than I thought and I’m shorter than I thought too!

The end.

SHiNE

 

CLAIMING SPACE: The Man Cave

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IAN_0224by Weusi

I looked back and saw that my first post of 2013 was about claiming space in the madness of a product junky’s bathroom. As we are almost half of the way through the year, and I review my vision and plan for 2014, I think there is a need for another Claiming Space post. This time, it’s about what is called …

“MAN CAVE” noun: humorous 1. a room or other part of a home regarded as a refuge for the man or men of a household.

It’s important that your home feels and looks like a space that you would want to live, BUT if a Man lives with a S.O. (Significant Other), then they know rule #1 is … Keep them Happy to Keep a Happy Home! This may mean that at any given time, when you look around, you may not realize that you even live in a space. This is, in part, due to the FACT that discussion about aesthetic conflicts are more than likely tabled (or trashed) because there will undoubtedly be “more important things to discuss.” Anyway … earlier this year, I visited a friend and he had a new man cave. The wall behind his comfy couch said, “Life is Beautiful.” Some of his other friends thought that this was a little too “soft” in the midst of the lounge chairs, flat screen, and booming bass heavy sound system. But, it made sense to me. It was the man cave of a married man. He’s a happily married man, and little touches like that remind you that there are other things in life that make you happy besides food, drinks, music, and sports. And this is important to remember in the midst of testosterone-filled man cave interactions.

There are a few simple reasons why having a man cave is a goal for me in upcoming months …

1. Solitude: I love Shelli’s smile and sometimes we man cave dwellers need to get away and find a place of comfort and inspiration … without distractions. You know how easily we can be distracted! And sometimes … you just want us to get out of your way!

2. Library: Real men read. ‘Nuff said! stacks of books 3. History: I think of a Man Cave as one of the places that will one day be a historic landmark. “The Office of Weusi Baraka.” “Weusi Baraka Slept Here.” The Man Cave is a museum space. It speaks to your interests, personality, and where the Smithsonian will come to collect archival pieces of one’s history. I want to be able to define how I will be remembered. I want a role in writing my history (see the Kwanzaa principle of Kujichagulia: self-determination).

My dream man cave is part office, part library, part music studio, and part creative laboratory. This sounds fancy, but in its simplest manifestation, this just means it’s a space that has a desk with a computer, pens and paper (I have my analog moments), books, speakers/good headphones, some space to pace and either a dry erase board or a chalkboard. A TV would be cool, but it can be a hindrance. Although a bar would be mandatory for most, there isn’t really a NEED for a bar or furniture because I don’t do well with entertaining, nor do I really enjoy it. I know to some this sounds weird, but I like to be alone at home. I’m kind of an oxymoronic social recluse?!?

I share all this with you because it is important that you know that when you share space with Significant Others and agree to a Man Cave, it’s not because we’re trying to avoid you … It’s because we love you so much that when we share space with you, you easily steal our focus. Sometimes we need to excuse ourselves from the presence of your spellbinding beauty so that we can get things in perspective. A smile is a helluva thing! Ok … and yes … sometimes, we do want to just get away and/or refuel our superpowers. We’re not asking for a Batcave! We just want a spot to go read, play a video game, and/or maybe watch a sport’s game!

BatmanArkhamAsylum_batcave pic(You know he’s reading an e-book in this picture right!?!)

SO … ask me about how my Man Cave planning is going in September!

Oh, and when I say I like to be alone … I mean alone … with Shelli! (We’re still honeymooning newlyweds … what do you expect?) IAN_0357

SHiNE

 

News Anchor Reveals Natural Hair

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newsanchorby Weusi

This is a salute to natural hair and to the strength of the human spirit. A quick reminder that being natural isn’t just about vanity for everyone, but it is a gift for those who choose to embrace it!

Please check out this 4 minute story …

SHiNE

Thank You … See You in 2014 …

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IAN_0355by Weusi

I have at least 5 notes and/or drafts of post to share with you all on the wedding and honeymoon and about life in general. The outpouring of love and support for Shelli/Hairscapades and our marriage has been beautiful and inspiring. Honestly, it’s a bit overwhelming. So let me simply say this to you all … THANK YOU.

Holler at you in 2014!

SHiNE,
Weusi

To Tiana …

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tiana_parkerby Weusi

Some of you have heard about the young lady that transferred schools because her locs became an issue at her prior school.

Honestly, after hearing about the story, my testosterone kicked in. I wanted to challenge the school’s board and their views of what an acceptable hairstyle is. I got into the language of the school’s policy. I wanted to reach out and dap up Tiana’s father for protecting his daughter. I wanted to start a conversation that would make people uncomfortable and agitate change. Then it hit me. What can I do for Tiana?

Then, like a ray of light, comes Dr. Yaba Blay …

A Care Package for Tiana: Locs of Love

A digital book for Tiana, with messages and pictures from dozens of sisters affirming the beauty, strength and wisdom of her natural hair.

A_Care_Package_for_Tiana(Give it a few secs to load after clicking the image.)

Check out the homie, Dr. Yaba Blay, she’s at the top of her game!

SALUTE TO YOU ALL!

SHiNE!

The Doc Didn’t Want His Wife to Be Natural

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by Weusi

As you may, or may not, know there is a growing trend to hear the voices of brothers that are involved with sisters with natural hair. I kinda dig that. An interest in our perspective is cool and empowering for us as men in many ways. Yes, our club is growing!

I am just being hipped to this article by Dr. Corey Guyton, of Durham, NC (thank you Toussaint). I know the title is deceptive, but he’s really on your side. Not only is this brother a reformed “NatHaHa” or “NHH” (Natural Hair Hater … can we add this to the Lexicon?), he has a FREE e-book, Supporting Your Queen on Her Journey of Returning to Being Naturalto help guys who might need advice on supporting natural sisters. YES … FREE!

Here he speaks on a few of the reasons some S.O.’s are resistant to embracing natural hair.

The Reasons I Did Not Want My Wife to Be Natural

by DR. COREY GUYTON

When I met my wife, she was everything I wanted in a woman. She was educated, Black, took great care of herself, and had long flowy hair. As a youngster, I was always encouraged by older men, my peers, and even some women to find a woman who had “good hair.” Equipped with this advice, my wife’s hair was the icing on the cake to complement her other wonderful qualities.

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After dating for a while, my world got turned upside down as my wife uttered these dreadful words … ”I am thinking about going natural”. At this point I thought, what is a man to do when his wife is thinking about getting rid of the icing on the cake? Now, I had seen tons of women who were natural and I admired their look (one of those women being my mother), but for some reason I did not feel natural was for my woman.

As the days went by, I progressively started researching as much as I could about the entire natural process to figure out what in the heck my wife was about to do to herself. As I learned more and more about the process, my mind started playing tricks on me. The questions in my mind began to transform from being about why my wife would want to be natural to why did I want to keep her from being natural. This is the point I started evaluating myself instead of my wife.

So the million dollar question is why did I want to keep my wife from embracing her natural hair?

Insecure

The truth is that I was insecure. I was insecure in the fact that my wife had to cut her hair. I was insecure in the fact that she would have a TWA (Tiny Weeny Afro).  And I was insecure in the fact that she could possibly look different. The underlying issue was that I was not comfortable in my own manhood, because subconsciously, I felt I would be less of a man if my wife did not have long flowy hair. It was not about her, it was about me and my insecurities.

Blinded

I was blinded by so many things including Eurocentric values, the media, and my own people.

Growing up in a country where the standards are based on Eurocentric values, I fell into the trap of thinking that my definition of beauty was supposed to be the same as their definition of beauty. This false sense of understanding lead to me having the spirit of oppression towards my beautiful Black sistas, including my wife. Sadly, I tried to place those Eurocentric values on my Afrocentric queens.

I was also blinded by the numerous images of “beauty” that were portrayed in the media. Anytime I would see a Black woman who was in movies, music videos, pageants, or on any day time television, she had long flowy hair. This played into my psyche and caused me to think that these women were the definition of beauty.

Finally, I was blinded by my own people (including myself) who constantly displayed self-hate. The men constantly spoke about how women with short hair or non-straight hair were nappy headed and sistas put tons of weave in their head for the purposes of “increasing their beauty”. We created the thought that we were not beautiful the way God created us.

The Reality

I am blessed to have a wife who challenged me by not giving in to my insecurities. Her journey of rediscovering herself was a pivotal point in my life because I also discovered myself through the process. I broke free of oppression and am now one of the biggest advocates for my beautiful sistas returning to their natural roots. Since the blinders are off, I would not want my wife to be any way other than natural.

Moral of the article is brothers support our beautiful natural queens and sistas embrace your natural beauty!

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Thanks Dr Guyot … please check him out at www.TheGenuineScholar.com

and click here to see how his wife responded!

BULL CITY … NCCU … HORNS UP

THAT’S ALL.

SHiNE