Tag Archives: love

6 Months Later … Now What?

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IAN_0224by Weusi

In my mind … I’ve been married for a long time. I’d committed myself to Shelli long ago. I didn’t need the government, our friends, or family to validate my love. God knew my heart and my commitment. Shelli also knew I was married … in my mind. I told Shelli all the time, “You’re my wife.” Not in a creepy, over-possessive, “it puts on the lotion” kinda way. Moreso, in a voice of reassurance. Letting her know that my love is forever and that I was committed and wasn’t going anywhere.

Because of my love and commitment to her, when she let me know that a legal marriage would make her happy, I didn’t fight it. I can’t say it was a no brainer though. In my mind, I’m a little revolutionary and can be kind of anti-establishment. When I realized how happy it would make her, I knew what had to be done. Then, on December 12, 2013, I did it. I said those words … “I DO.” And no, I didn’t go the Kevin Hart route and “say it with my chest,” but, I meant it with all my heart. I wake up daily and say it to myself as a reminder. But now what? What happens after “I DO?”

When I decided that I was getting married, I sought wisdom and advice from as many people as I could. I talked to a bunch of people, both male and female, about the dynamic that marriage brings to a relationship. Many of them said that after you say “I do” and the honeymoon is over, things change. And they said that we’ve got to work on learning how to evolve and grow as individuals and together as a unit. The great thing about that is, since we’re both people with positive spirits, positive change is inevitable! AND lucky for us, we plan to live the rest of our lives in a honeymoon like bliss!*

*please do not equate the honeymoon like bliss with ignorant bliss!

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We’ll just have to wait to find out what happens as time goes on. We are 6 months in today and I’m ji like, still excited about it all! I’ll try to keep you posted on things, but y’all should let me know when you would like an update too. Until then (and forevermore), join us as we rejoice in love. And know that we are in honeymoon mode … eternally! At least in my mind!

SHiNE

(p.s. In case you were wondering, “ji like”is not a typo, it is slang for “jive like,” which is DC’centeric slang for “kind of like.”

AND … I’m sorry if you are getting tired of them but … I will continue to write pieces about and use pictures from our wedding … FOREVER! I LOVE SHOWING OFF OUR LOVE!

CLAIMING SPACE: The Man Cave

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IAN_0224by Weusi

I looked back and saw that my first post of 2013 was about claiming space in the madness of a product junky’s bathroom. As we are almost half of the way through the year, and I review my vision and plan for 2014, I think there is a need for another Claiming Space post. This time, it’s about what is called …

“MAN CAVE” noun: humorous 1. a room or other part of a home regarded as a refuge for the man or men of a household.

It’s important that your home feels and looks like a space that you would want to live, BUT if a Man lives with a S.O. (Significant Other), then they know rule #1 is … Keep them Happy to Keep a Happy Home! This may mean that at any given time, when you look around, you may not realize that you even live in a space. This is, in part, due to the FACT that discussion about aesthetic conflicts are more than likely tabled (or trashed) because there will undoubtedly be “more important things to discuss.” Anyway … earlier this year, I visited a friend and he had a new man cave. The wall behind his comfy couch said, “Life is Beautiful.” Some of his other friends thought that this was a little too “soft” in the midst of the lounge chairs, flat screen, and booming bass heavy sound system. But, it made sense to me. It was the man cave of a married man. He’s a happily married man, and little touches like that remind you that there are other things in life that make you happy besides food, drinks, music, and sports. And this is important to remember in the midst of testosterone-filled man cave interactions.

There are a few simple reasons why having a man cave is a goal for me in upcoming months …

1. Solitude: I love Shelli’s smile and sometimes we man cave dwellers need to get away and find a place of comfort and inspiration … without distractions. You know how easily we can be distracted! And sometimes … you just want us to get out of your way!

2. Library: Real men read. ‘Nuff said! stacks of books 3. History: I think of a Man Cave as one of the places that will one day be a historic landmark. “The Office of Weusi Baraka.” “Weusi Baraka Slept Here.” The Man Cave is a museum space. It speaks to your interests, personality, and where the Smithsonian will come to collect archival pieces of one’s history. I want to be able to define how I will be remembered. I want a role in writing my history (see the Kwanzaa principle of Kujichagulia: self-determination).

My dream man cave is part office, part library, part music studio, and part creative laboratory. This sounds fancy, but in its simplest manifestation, this just means it’s a space that has a desk with a computer, pens and paper (I have my analog moments), books, speakers/good headphones, some space to pace and either a dry erase board or a chalkboard. A TV would be cool, but it can be a hindrance. Although a bar would be mandatory for most, there isn’t really a NEED for a bar or furniture because I don’t do well with entertaining, nor do I really enjoy it. I know to some this sounds weird, but I like to be alone at home. I’m kind of an oxymoronic social recluse?!?

I share all this with you because it is important that you know that when you share space with Significant Others and agree to a Man Cave, it’s not because we’re trying to avoid you … It’s because we love you so much that when we share space with you, you easily steal our focus. Sometimes we need to excuse ourselves from the presence of your spellbinding beauty so that we can get things in perspective. A smile is a helluva thing! Ok … and yes … sometimes, we do want to just get away and/or refuel our superpowers. We’re not asking for a Batcave! We just want a spot to go read, play a video game, and/or maybe watch a sport’s game!

BatmanArkhamAsylum_batcave pic(You know he’s reading an e-book in this picture right!?!)

SO … ask me about how my Man Cave planning is going in September!

Oh, and when I say I like to be alone … I mean alone … with Shelli! (We’re still honeymooning newlyweds … what do you expect?) IAN_0357

SHiNE

 

Hubby Hair Stylist??

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NaturalMe4Cby Weusi

Shelli’s friend Courtney sent this article from TheRoot.com to her, Great Video: “My Husband Does My Twist Out.” (Watch the videos by NaturalMe4C here [part 1] and here [part 2].)

Right from the beginning, I knew I was gonna write about it. Excuse me? What did you ask? Why am I so enthralled by this particular video? Well, because there are a bunch of things about the video that I can relate to and appreciate. Like what, you ask? Oh … I’ll be honored to let you know. SO … in no particular order …

THE TOP 5 REASONS WHY I LOVE THESE VIDEOS

  1. I relate to knowing a few natural hair terms and feeling pride when I get a chance to use them … even when I am wrong when trying to slide them into a conversation!
  2. When Shelli finally noticed me, there was someone else trying to impress her. I had to sit there and watch. It wasn’t too bad though. I just paid attention to her fine ass!
  3. I believe in the idea of wanting to do your Significant Other’s hair as an act of love and not as an act of beautification. BUT … I also understand why it doesn’t happen!
  4. I believe in creativity … and the HARP METHOD and in the SPRAY & PRAY! The HARP METHOD is like a multi-tasking, multi-finger detangling method. And the SPRAY & PRAY is … well … it is what it sounds like. Spray something and pray that it works! I make a motion that we immediately include them both in the natural hair care lexicon!
  5. The main reason I love this video is because it was made to share love and laughter! And I support the sharing of love and laughter. (See her face at the 2:40 mark in part 1!)

And in conclusion … My suggestion for the week ahead is calculate how much time you spend on hair porn and make sure that you spend AT LEAST  that amount of QUALITY TIME with your Significant Other. You can even offer to wash your S.O.’s hair or massage their scalp! (Be careful … the scalp massage is a SERIOUS MATTER! I’ll tell you about that at another time!)

Have a great week!

SHiNE

p.s. … NO .. I am not doing Shelli’s hair … I like her smile … Messing with her hair would create a non-smile reaction … possibly tears … so … NAH!!!

What You’ve All Been Waiting For …

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LOL! Yeah, I know that many of you may have been wondering what my engagement ring looks like. As he told you here, Wei proposed to me with a ring given to him by his grandmother via his great aunt. It’s a simple and classic solitaire on a slender 14K gold band. When I think of what it took for an African-American male in the south in the early 1900s to save his money to purchase an engagement ring like this for his fiancé … there just aren’t words for how special it makes me feel to be able to wear this symbol of love and perseverance.

I love it. It makes me smile every time I look at it twinkling brightly at me … even despite the piece of thick tape currently wrapped around the band. *lol* You see, Wei’s grandmother told him that it was a 6 1/2 and, since that is my shoe size, he expected it to fit. He was truly distraught when he realized that it didn’t. Imagine how funny it was when we went to a local jeweler looking for a ring guard on Friday, only to discover that it is a size 8 and my ringer finger a 5 1/2. Well, the jeweler didn’t have a guard to fit and I wasn’t leaving my ring there while we travelled to DC for the meet-up. So, it stayed in my purse for the majority of the weekend. I pulled it out and jerry-rigged it with some tape (no, not duct! ;)) so that I could wear it today.

I hope to make it to the jeweler tomorrow so that it can be re-sized and I can wear it with the confidence that it will stay where it belongs! Until then, I’m keeping my eye on it and feeling my heart swell with joy every time I think about spending the rest of my life with the love of it.

THANK YOU ALL!!

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From the bottom of our hearts!!

Your kind words and well-wishes are truly appreciated and kept me smiling all the more widely yesterday evening!! As you can imagine, it was a little crazy with all the calls that had to be made:). Then, I passed out as I was exhausted! Wei proposed in the morning, before I had to leave for my Trenton office!! I was in meetings for the majority of the day and was exhausted by the time I got home and made all the announcements;). So, this is it for today! Might have something for you all later tonight, because I have a lot of GREAT stuff “in the crates.” Stay tuned … and thanks again!!

An Anti-Valentine’s Day Love Story

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by Weusi

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day … So here’s a little love story (sort of … but not really … but could be!?!).

This year has kept me busy! I’ve worked gigs with America’s Got Talent, BET Honors, NHL Classic, the Portlandia Premier, and a few hip hop shows. I’ve been traveling for the past couple of weeks, so I have not spent much time with Shelli. Despite all of this, I don’t really get down with Valentine’s Day or many holidays.  I’m anti commercialization of love. This is also part of the reason I’m often pushing against the formalized business institution of marriage.

But recently I’ve been reminded (not by Shelli) that I’m in a relationship now and it’s not about me. And I’ve been given all kinds of advice about gifts I could get Shelli. Some funny, some serious, some sexy … most were good. But these suggestions were from her friends. People that, although they are close to her … they aren’t me! So, I figured that I’d try to find her something really special. Like really special.

I thought that maybe I could find a really special comic book! Or maybe research and find a super secret hair care product with magical powers. I couldn’t find either … but I got her this when I came back from LA …

because we call each other sunshine … but, realized that this is kinda corny. So, I thought that this would be cute … it’s a picture of  me presenting her my heart …

But this image was even more corny …

Then I thought about it … I really don’t get down with this commercialized thing. But, I do support the ideal of love. And since it’s the day after Valentine’s Day, I figured I’d just give her the heirloom engagement ring that I’ve been hiding for so long! So yeah … we’re engaged now!

We thank you all for your support, well wishes, prayers and positive energy!

But that’s not the end of the story … it’s the start of something new and magical … and a story to be continued … forever!