Happy Mother’s Day (No … It’s not late!)

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Weiby Weusi

This post is short and sweet, yet full of tears.

It’s a good thing that the tears are from laughter …

This is the story of two men. Two men that feel women over exaggerate the pain from child birth. Two men that learn how wrong they are!

Watch this … I give you permission to enjoy their ignorance! But, in the future, please don’t make it a habit of enjoying the ignorance of others. Just stay away from them (I hear that they are contagious).

From those of us that know that MOTHER’S DAY is EVERYDAY.

SHiNE

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Shelli: Okay, so I had to chime in on this one. I showed this to Wei yesterday and he insisted that I let him write the post about it. He also asked when it started, “Are they attaching that down there?!?!” I was like, “No! Just their stomachs! *LOL*” Then he said, “Well then, they still won’t really know what it feels like!! They are only getting part of the experience.” Next we laughed our butts off watching the guys writhe in pain, then talked about how they only went through that for 1 hour, whereas many women are in labor for several hours. Later, I showed it to my mom and grandmother, who also laughed their butts off. My one grandmother pointed out they didn’t have to carry a child for 9 months either (mind you, she did it NINE times)!! So yeah … they still don’t have a clue … nor do I!! But, I’m told, you kind of forget how bad it was … because, if you didn’t, no one would have more than one child!!!! So glad that I have to have a C (myomectomy to remove fibroids means I can’t carry to term). I know, that’s wrong, but #IJS!!!! LOL!! 

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11 responses »

  1. Hey!

    I didn’t watch the video because I am 39 weeks pregnant and about to give birth any day, so avoiding all videos of women (and men) writhing around in pain and screaming from childbirth. But it sounds darned funny!

    I just wanted to be that annoying woman who points out that it is a misinformed opinion to think that a c-section is any easier or better than a vaginal birth. I actually have one daughter who is 22 months.i went through 42 and a half hours (much more than “a few”) of natural labor with her, pretty painful back labor because she was in the sunny side up position so her head was basically pushing on the nerves of my lower spine the whole time. I dilated to 8 cm but stayed there for 11 more hours (after the initial 26 that I was at home), took a very bumpy and painful ambulance ride to the hospital, where I finished my last few hours of an attempt to have a natural vaginal birth with an emergency c section. There they found that my little girl was wrapped in the umbilical chord around her arm, leg and neck, so she was trying so hard to descend for her mama but couldn’t get any further because the chord had her like a bungee. It turned out to be a blessing, though, because it didn’t tighten around her neck because of the traction around her arm and leg.

    Anyway, that is all to say that I have experience in both, natural labor and a c section and I will tell you that a section is not better or easier than a vaginal birth. A c section is a major surgery and women who want to have more than one child are at higher and higher risks for complications with every c section they have, like placenta prevaria (the placenta becoming attached to the cervix, which leads to a full hysterectomy). Also, once you have one c section your hospital or doctor will probably pressure you to have more (we are going for a vaginal birth this time again and have a large baby and I’m so sick and tired of hearing how crazy we are for attempting a vbac) when it is actually medically, safer than having another section. It is actually INSURANCE reasons that cause doctors and hospitals to push for c sections and nothing about them being more healthful or less dangerous.

    Anyway,i have other friends who feel the same way as you, but have never had children and I feel that women, largely African American women who have, I believe, the largest incidence of c sections in the country, are not properly informed that you have a higher risk of death, the baby has a higher risk of death, you have an insanely longer recovery time (6 weeks as opposed to a few days to a week for the average vaginal birth). I couldn’t carry my baby on my body for so long because of my scar healing and it is much much harder to breast feed with a c section because you don’t get the bonding hormones that naturally occur after a vaginal birth and so, often, the milk doesn’t come down naturally and sometimes, neither does that oogly googly mama love feeling the oxytocin causes you to feel about your baby. You’re too busy coming off of crazy drugs from your serious, major surgery and being groggy AND trying to take care of a newborn baby.

    So, I’m sure this answer sounds so not how I want it to sound. I am trying to reply from the viewpoint of someone who has been there and did a lot of research prior to it and when I hear women say they are glad they are having a c section, it just makes me cringe because why would someone be glad they are having to have major abdominal surgery that carries a higher risk of death? I just want women to be informed and not to be scared of the way God created their bodies to work. Millions, if not BILLIONs, of women from the beginning of time have birthed babies, and yes, a c section can be a life saver, like it was in my case, and obviously in your case, you won’t be able to have a vaginal birth, but I think it’s important to get the right info out there for women who can, that childbirth is nothing to be afraid of and the fear that promoting c sections over vaginal births puts out there is really one of the major culprits that leads to the vilification of vaginal births over everything else. As a society it seems like we are so ready to say that women can do anything and we’re so strong and secure and “hear me roar” and “girl power”, but when it comes to doing something that our bodies were actually designed to do, we are completely willing to let our bodies and minds be manipulated and sliced open, instead of embracing the power and accomplishment and wisdom of God, that designed our bodies to do one of the major things they were created for and something that women, truly, can do that men can’t. We should be proud of that and embrace it and not be bamboozled. come at it from a place of being completely 100% informed and not just from watching bad tv or listening to your sister’s scary story. You can do anything you put your mind to and having a baby is one of the most rewarding things you can do in life, no matter how you decide to do it. It’s a gift and not something to be scared about.

    I’m not judging, I think everyone should do what they want for themselves, but I do really think that women should come at it from a place of being appropriately informed about all of the pros and cons first. Sorry if that sounded preachy because it wasn’t meant to. Just a strong topic for me, especially in my condition 🙂 And I will report back in a few days, two weeks at most, and let you know how this second birth went for me! Who knows, maybe i will end up with that 2nd c section, but God knows it wont be for lack of trying 🙂 Keep me in prayer that it goes naturally and healthily!

    God bless!
    Aja

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    • Good points, Aja. I had both my girls, full term pregnancy with natural childbirth (pudendal block prior to episiotomy). In nursing school I got to witness a C-section, and am glad I was able to take the natural route. Not all women are able too. Local and general Anesthesia carries their own unique risks, and abdominal surgery has a 6 week recuperation period. With good prenatal monitoring, childbirth classes, and pre- and post-partum education, there is no reason we should fear what we’ve been doing since the time of EVE. God bless!

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  2. FULL DISCLOSURE: 1. i knew that shelli previously had a fibroid issue … i didn’t know that it meant she had to have a c-section. 2. i didn’t know what she was gonna write. 3. i LOVE that this post has generated such a wealth of knowledge and done it from place that is clearly from concern and well wishes and not from a judgmental tone. 4. i am glad that it sparked intellectual convo but i hope that some of you laughed as much as i did!

    this community is really beautiful.

    Aja … we all look forward to hearing about your healthy delivery!

    SHINE

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    • Thanks! That’s so sweet!

      Still pregnant! Two days late but got a feeling he’s coming really soon!

      Feeling even more confident in my birthing abilities this time around, and more importantly, my faith is super strong that The Lord is my Shepard and He’s not going to let me want for anything! So I can just relax, be fearless and bring this healthy baby into the world the way God intends!

      Believe me, you’ll hear back, with cute pictures!!!

      And as soon as I’m done with the birth, I wanna remember to watch this video!!!

      All the best Shelli and Shine!
      God bless!

      Like

    • Wow! I’m so flattered you guys remembered!
      I will reply with the full story soon (it’s a long, crazy adventure!!)! I have a 6 week old I’m nursing round the clock and a two year old and husband I’m taking care of, and it’s a long story, but definitely worth hearing!
      More very soon and thanks again for asking…

      🙂 Aja

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    • Hi guys!

      I keep remembering that I never gave that update, so here I am! Actually, I started to write one about a month ago and when I realized I was giving a heavily detailed blow by blow of the most truamatizing night of my life, I took a step back and realized maybe I still needed some time to process…

      So ya, still processing, but I will say, it was a REAL challenge! I don’t want to be one of those scary childbirth story women who makes other women glad they have to have a section (hence the whole reason for this discussion in the first place) but after trying twice to have a natural delivery, the first ending in an emergency c-section and the second in an emergency vacuum, third degree episiotomy and shoulder dystocia (you can look that up if you like, but basically the baby’s shoulder gets stuck under your pelvis and they have to manually beat on your pelvis in order to provide the counter pressure to get him out…ya, not fun) where my son and I were both in recovery for 6 days, I’ve either got to admit that my story is scary and that some childbirth stories are and that’s ok, or ignore the elephant in the room and pretend like it wasn’t that bad… But let’s face it… It was terrible!!!

      Now that I am 3 months plus removed from the experience (and with a GORGEOUS, unbelievably laughy and happy, 18 lbs big bruiser of a baby boy to show for it), I will offer this… Children are a blessing, no matter how difficult or how easy it is to get them here and if you and Shelley are ever blessed enough to have a family of your own, I hope for the best experience possible for you. It’s the parenthood that counts, not the childbirth. After all, BOTH of mine were some of the most insane experiences I could have ever imagined and not in a good way! After Theo was born, we didn’t even know if he’d be ok, or if I’d walk normally again, and I’m ALREADY daydreaming about the next one!

      So, in hindsight I say, know all your options, be the best support system you know how to be and lean on Jesus! If God chooses to give you a baby and take it to term, you can most definitely trust the getting it out part to Him and that’s no small comfort, at least it shouldn’t be… 🙂

      Thanks again for checking in on me! If I could post pics here I would, but take my word for it…. He’s incredible!!! 🙂

      God bless you two!
      Aja

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      • Awwwww, thanks for the update Aja!! I got lucky in that I don’t get notifications on comments on Wei’s post now and I haven’t checked the comments section in a good week. So, I just happen to come on here to empty my spam (which I suspected would be out of control … 270+ spam mssgs) and saw this!! Yes, that sounds very scary and traumatic. And I appreciate your honesty. As you noted previously, it’s my understanding from my last GYN that I will have no choice but a C-section due to the extent of my fibroids and surgery. But, I truly appreciate where you were coming from and your kind and encouraging words now. Thank you so much for sharing!

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        • Hey there!

          I have a few of my friends who are a little older than me (I’m 33) who also have the same issue. It’s funny because my husband and I are so pro natural EVERYTHING and we’ve pretty much had the worst birth experiences of all our friends (and we’re Chrsitians, so we have A LOT of pregnant friends, haha). I think one thing God showed me with this is that it is not always about absolutes. One person’s story and experience is not going to be another person’s and that’s ok. Sometimes it’s so easy to think we’ve got it all figured out what is best for everyone, but His ways are above our ways, in the end, and we just have to go with it.

          I wish you guys the best! You will make some cute babies! Haha! And like I said, it’s worth the pain! I’m excited to have more! If I didn’t have to give birth to them, I’d have 20! Hahaha 🙂

          Like

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