Off Topic: On Our Engagement

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by Weusi

I have been engaged for about 72 hours.

And I know that this is a hair care blog and my role is to share the male perspective of things. But, today I’d like to go off subject and touch on a few points about the engagement process.

*NOTE: These are kinda random thoughts that I just need to get outta my system, but I feel like they will give you some insight into the male perspective.

1) Long ago I was committed to this relationship. In my mind, we have been married for some time. I used to (kinda) joke with her about her being my wife already. She’d laugh and say, “yes … but NO!” And I understood that.

I know that stating our vows in front of God is important to her. It’s important to me too. And since God and I have a great relationship and it’s something that makes her happy, marriage vows make sense! And since marriage vows come with some other baggage … I’ll take that … as long as Shelli’s gonna be happy.

(Normally, this would be where I’d get into the discussion about the difference between the spiritual tradition of marriage vows and the business of marriage but I’d rather just leave this on a positive note.)

2) I have no problem challenging norms and traditions. In fact, I often rush to challenge them. But I did things the old school, traditional way because I felt that they were the right way to do things.

I asked her parents for permission … I got the ok from my family and shared an heirloom ring from my grandmother and great-aunt (even though the ring has a diamond and I’m anti-diamonds!) … I kneeled as an action that symbolized my submission to my love and asked her to marry me!

All that to say … Significant Others, the traditions make sense. They are rooted in principles of chivalry and respect. Handle your biz. It may take a little time and it may challenge your personal comforts but, in the end, it’s worth it.

3) I know this is what you all want to know … How it happened:

Shelli knows I’m anti Valentine’s Day. I didn’t buy a gift and I kinda knew that it would stir up something. So, on the evening of 2/14/12, I told her I had a new post, “It’s a short one, but it’s good.” I started writing a blog for her to post on this site about my feelings towards the holiday. I e-mailed it to her with the subject: “new SO He says … wake me up when you read this … i gotta finish.” I knew she’d get up the next morning and proof it. It was a short, kinda corny post that I didn’t really feel was up to par. I also left the ending incomplete. It was pretty much the same post from yesterday, but it ended with the picture with the heart in hand.

The next morning I sat behind her as she proofed it. I knew that, at the end she’d turn around a little confused and be like “Baby, uhhh … what is this?”

Instead … as she read, I was kneeling beside her as if I was proofing with her. When she finished reading the incomplete article she turned to me to ask a question …

With my heart racing a million beats a second, I was there … with my ring in hand.

She started to ask me about the ending of the post, then noticed the ring and realized what was happening. She started crying and I asked if she’d be my wife and spend forever with me. She was crying and didn’t say anything. When she got her composure, I asked if she’d marry me. She mumbled yes and nodded. Then we hugged, kissed … and now … we’ll live happily ever after!

4) I kinda know quite a few people. I wanted EVERYONE to know that I’m getting married. BUT … I didn’t want to call everyone and tell them! SO … I was excited to post my engagement on Facebook, Twitter (@weusib333) and G+ to let all those that I’m connected with know that I was engaged! So much so that I had to call Shelli and ask if she’d already called her parents, sisters and friends.

Now, in my mind, I’d just put it out to the world and those that I’m close to would reach out to me … or not. To me, this really isn’t about anyone else but Shelli and me. All the fanfare and comments are nice, but I’m more concerned that Shelli isn’t getting too caught up in the excitement and hype. I want her to stay excited about being married to ME, not start to worry about plans. When it’s time for that stuff, we’ll handle it!

5) MOST IMPORTANTLY … PLEASE stop asking me if we set a date or wedding plans! PEOPLE … can I bask in the enjoyment that the person I love has agreed to share their life with me!?! PLEASE stop asking me if we set a date! The headaches of event planning are sure to come … but for now … relax … we are gonna enjoy this for a second.

(Yo … I just found out a bottle of Herbal Essence Hello Hydration is going into the mix for the product swap! I got a little salty, then Shelli informed me that there were 3 other bottles under the sink! Whew! Because I like that stuff!)

And that’s all folks …

SHiNE

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24 responses »

  1. wonderful post! congrats to you both – I have to say that I enjoyed reading this news like I was hearing news from family or close friends. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

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  2. I agree with Gigi, I enjoyed this as well. Thank you for sharing Weusi. Bask and relish this moment all you want and need to. All of the fanfare is great but at the end of the day, once the party is over, it will only be the two of you. My husband and I scurried away from marriage prep craziness and got married on a beach with just the two of us. I can’t tell you enough how heartfelt our vows were. Not suggesting you do that, but I definitely advocate leaving the craziness behind to focus on the love you share and the life you are about to begin. (i.e only if you are so inclined. Some really want the party, and there’s nothing wrong with that either.) Congrats again.

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    • Same her, Viv – even the family started to get too involved – so we had a small 5 person ceremony (including us) and plan to have a big shindig for our 5 yr anniv. next year. Everyone has an opinion uggh!

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      • That’s really sweet Terysa! Congrats on the upcoming anniversary!

        Too many people having too many ‘entitled’ opinions was exactly why we did it the way we did it. We don’t regret it one iota. (We also had a small gathering afterwards.)

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  3. I just wanted to say that, that this was such a sweet engagement story if I ever heard of one. It brought tears to my eyes as. I read the story of how you got down on your knees and ask for her hand in marriage just such a good story of you’ll life thanks for sharing. Good luck.

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  4. Awe, I felt like I was there too when you proposed while reading the post. Lol. Although I wasn’t the one who asked about the date, which I think is kinda silly to even ask someone who just propose to his lady like 2 days ago. But in defense of those few that did ask, forgive them and no need to be rude about it now…come on…’Yo….you know how some females are. Lol. Enjoy the moment because it comes around only once. Stay blessed.

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  5. Brother Weusi –

    It is really refreshing hearing the groom perspective. The proposal sounds so nice, especially consulting with the parental units. Ignore the intrusive/bossy people and enjoy your engagement. PS: Hello Hydration is 2/5.00 at Target this week (12oz. size).

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  6. I’m clear that it takes a village to do almost any & everything in a healthy, productive & sustainable way. So thank you ALL for your support and comments (both public & private!). We are feeling the love! And I wasn’t meaning to be rude about asking me if we had a date. I just thought it was awkwardly funny coming from both males & females!

    And Erica … good looking out on the Hello Hydration tip! And in full disclosure I just learned the name … I usually just call it the “the conditioner in the blue bottle”. (Haha! … it’s funny to me!)

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  7. Weusi that’s a great post and such, but I will have to disagree on the last part mainly #5. I’m ducking my head now lol, don’t hit me for saying this next piece. That’s what females like to know between themselves or is it mainly towards you getting the question asked to you to much? But anyway congrats Shelli because you finally got the ring, next after the marriage hopefully some little ones :).

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    • Zyaran, the thing is, we don’t have any date, we just got engaged, so I feel the same way!!! LOL!! I never ask the question myself …. but, I’m not too “girly’ when it comes to this whole thing. But, I know that some people have the date before they get “officially” engaged, so I do understand the question. But, I also understand Wei’s side of things, especially since he REALLY isn’t into this type of thing! LOL!! But thank you again ALL soooo much!! The question of the date has done nothing to lessen the feeling that I’ve experienced from all the outpouring of well wishes!!

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  8. Weusi, it’s official. You are a blogger LOL And also very cool since you love HH. Yes, it’s great isn’t it???

    Anyway, you might as well set the date because you know the questions won’t ever stop!! We at least want a date within a year so…….

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  12. OMG! I can only pray for a man to think so highly of me to want to spend his whole life with me. This is BEYOND sweet. My heart smiled @ “can I bask in the enjoyment that the person I love has agreed to share their life with me!?!” This post totally made my day!! Gives me hope to keep believing in love.

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