Daily Archives: October 27, 2011

Oct27

September Update: Kayla

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Here’s Kayla of the Sixth Wave, with her September update (which was sent to me at the beginning of October and I somehow failed to post! Sorry Kayla!!).

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Flat twist out

Fitness:
I still haven’t been working out consistently. I probably worked out 5 times in September. Most of those times were recently, though, so I’m starting to get back into going to the gym. I’m also still working on drinking enough water.  One thing I have been good about is taking my vitamins.

Hair:
My regimen hasn’t really changed. I don’t have any new products, but I did add some sulfur powder to my castor/coconut oil I’ve been applying to my scalp. Since my hair is a couple of inches longer in the back than it is on the sides, it’s has a mullet-like shape:(. I don’t want to cut it yet, so I’ve been experimenting with different styles to blend the different lengths. I tried my first roller set since I cut my hair earlier this year. I used medium/small rollers to wear it curly and I really liked the results. A week later, I tried a roller set/silk wrap with large rollers.

I think this turned out really nice, but it didn’t really help the mullet situation. The last thing that I tried was a flat twist-out I saw on acurlsbf.com. Instead of 2 flat twists, I did 3.  This is the first time I’ve had a successful twist out.  Before I guess I was doing too many twists. I can see myself doing this style on a regular basis as my sides grow out. Overall I’m happy with my hair progress.

My goal for October is to incorporate trips to the gym into my schedule.

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What are you talking about? I see no mullet! I see nicely layered and gorgeously shiny hair! Love both the roller set and the flat twist out! Can’t wait to read how October went:)!

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Oct27

A Seasonal Do … (Maybe A Please DON’T?)

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by Weusi

Her seasonal do …

SO … we’re in the beauty store (No, I don’t just stand outside or sit in the car anymore … I go in now … all the stuff in these stores amazes me!).

She reminds me that she wants to get a protective style. She says, “So what do you think?”

She continues talking about these double twist that she’s thinking about … but then she slips in that she’d be adding some of this … and she pulls a bag off the wall … HUH!?! REALLY!?!

Then she says … “Or maybe a wig” … something like (whatever she pointed at on the wall) …

*CRICKETS!!!* … *MORE CRICKETS* … THEN … DISTURBING SILENCE …

Now during this seemingly eternal silence, these are the thoughts on my mind:

ok … lets work through this really quickly …
did you really ask me “what do [I] think?”
She says she likes her hair natural …
But … she’s gonna add some really good synthetic hair … but …
The other option is putting someone else’s hair on her head …
WHAT!?! … ARE YOU FOR REAL!?! WHAT KIND OF CHOICES ARE THESE?

NOW, as a man, in an often sexist and patriarchal society, who grew up in a home and around a community where being honest, socially conscious and open-minded were badges of high moral standing, I really have no choice but to side for what is right … and that’s to speak my truth. So, finally I answer.

“Nah … I don’t like either.”

AND … I’m clear about what she asked me. She asked what I thought of the styles. She did not ask my permission for a style. She’s a grown woman. She makes her own decision about how she styles her hair.

I love her … I don’t own her! BUT … BUT NOTHING!!!

There are no buts about it. To me, a part of loving someone means you accept them as they are. You know and trust in the principles that they value, so that when they do things that don’t excite you, you trust that those principles guide their choices.

Many of us (SOs) are happy in an old beat up t-shirt and some jeans … sometimes my/our aesthetic choices need a little fine tuning (but don’t sleep on us … we can dress ourselves so that we turn some heads!). I say that to make the point that many times we trust in your sense of fashion and style and that sometimes our objection to your hair isn’t to the look, because we know that you aren’t gonna do anything that makes you look bad. It’s the process that gets you to the desired look that makes us throw up more of a question than an objection.

And I’ll leave you with this. I know your hair is still natural (even with the hair that’s not yours) and since we’re not gonna tell you “No, you can’t do your hair that way!” Why even asks us or make the comment about your changing style? We’re your SOs … we love YOU … you love your hair (we only like your hair)!

Continue to do what you do …

SHiNE