Do you guys remember the absolutely stunning KaiRox146? I shared her video tutorial for a fabulous flexi rod set back in June (Dang! Was it that long ago?!?!). Well, at the time, I asked her for her HairStory and she graciously sent it to me! So, here it is!
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As a child, I always wore my hair with parts and ponytails. My mother would wrap ballies around my ponytails, two-strand twist and place matching barrettes on the ends. Around middle school, the multiple ponytails merged into a single ponytail without any barrettes or ballies. Then, when I started high school, I decided I wanted a relaxer. I thought that I was grown-up at this point and wanted my hair to swang. I wanted to wear it straight and bumped under. I really thought that was the ultimate look. So, I begged my mother to let me get a relaxer! Although, she was very reluctant, she agreed. She knew how persistent I was and she also wanted me to be happy. So, we booked an appointment and I was thrilled! The day came, I got my relaxer and I was on cloud nine. I would flat-iron it, curl it and style it in numerous ways. I loved my hair. Not to mention, it was very long. I continued to get my roots relaxed, or touched up, every six weeks for the next six years.
After a while, I began to notice that my hair seemed to be getting thinner than it once was and my ends were a little straggly from time to time. I began to wonder why this was occurring, but I didn’t really do anything to remedy the situation at that time. Then, in 2006, I came to the realization that I didn’t really like the way my hair was styled when I would get it done in the salon. It was always too straight, too limp, too blah. To me, it looked to be rather lifeless. Not to mention that, by this point, I was growing so tired of getting my hair relaxed. I began to hate the smell of relaxer, the burn, the open raw feeling of neutralizer being applied at the shampoo bowl. The burning began to cause some minor hair loss around my hairline. A few weeks after a touch up, these burned areas would morph into stubbly patches that would irritate me to no end as the hair in those areas would resurface. However, none of this stood in the way of me reporting to the salon every six weeks to get it done.
One day, in 2008, I was sitting in my stylist’s chair when I had an epiphany. It all started when my stylist (who was also the owner) allowed a barber to set up shop in the very next station next to hers. Now, prior to this, all of the clients in this salon were women as well as all of the stylists. So, I’m sitting there with my hair prepped for my touch up while a man is getting his hair cut. This particular man began to stare a hole into my head. I felt so uncomfortable getting my hair done with a man staring at me. Meanwhile, on my other side, in the next station, a woman with loosely curled natural hair is getting it blown out straight. I began to wish that I, too, were just getting a blow out. Looking back on it, I guess there was an element of shame in getting a relaxer in public, right in front of this unknown man. To me, it was like a public declaration that, “Yes, the natural structural make-up of my hair is flawed and needs this treatment (relaxer),” while the loosely curled hair of woman sitting next to me has hair that doesn’t need this treatment and she can simply have her hair styled. I believe that the relaxer itself and the act of getting a relaxer have a certain connotation to it, a connotation that links it to one having bad hair.
I knew there was nothing inherently wrong with my hair and I decided that fateful day in the salon that I was no longer going to subject my hair to this process again. I didn’t like the relaxer itself, didn’t care for my so-called styled results, didn’t care to have a man witness the whole process, and I absolutely didn’t care to watch how lovely of a salon experience I could have if I only had a looser texture of hair. So, after that day, I decided I would never get a relaxer again, and I didn’t. At the time, I wasn’t sure what I would do with it next. So, I would just wash, blow dry and flat-iron it. It was pretty simple. Then as time went on and my new growth began to take over, I decided to chop off the remaining relaxed ends. During this time, I had done some research on naturally curly hair and I believed I was well versed enough to care for my hair and I never looked back. I love my hair now and all of the things I can do with it. Natural hair is beautiful and so full of versatility. I am now a huge natural hair enthusiast and I don’t miss a thing about that “creamy crack.”
Connect with me on: Youtube at Kairox146 and Twitter @KaiRoxCurls
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Gorgeous, isn’t she? And her beauty is not just skin deep ! Check out KaiRox’s YouTube Channel for tons of videos on her regimen, products, techniques, etc!