Category Archives: S.O. He Says

May19

Happy Mother’s Day (No … It’s not late!)

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Weiby Weusi

This post is short and sweet, yet full of tears.

It’s a good thing that the tears are from laughter …

This is the story of two men. Two men that feel women over exaggerate the pain from child birth. Two men that learn how wrong they are!

Watch this … I give you permission to enjoy their ignorance! But, in the future, please don’t make it a habit of enjoying the ignorance of others. Just stay away from them (I hear that they are contagious).

From those of us that know that MOTHER’S DAY is EVERYDAY.

SHiNE

***********************************************************************************************************************

Shelli: Okay, so I had to chime in on this one. I showed this to Wei yesterday and he insisted that I let him write the post about it. He also asked when it started, “Are they attaching that down there?!?!” I was like, “No! Just their stomachs! *LOL*” Then he said, “Well then, they still won’t really know what it feels like!! They are only getting part of the experience.” Next we laughed our butts off watching the guys writhe in pain, then talked about how they only went through that for 1 hour, whereas many women are in labor for several hours. Later, I showed it to my mom and grandmother, who also laughed their butts off. My one grandmother pointed out they didn’t have to carry a child for 9 months either (mind you, she did it NINE times)!! So yeah … they still don’t have a clue … nor do I!! But, I’m told, you kind of forget how bad it was … because, if you didn’t, no one would have more than one child!!!! So glad that I have to have a C (myomectomy to remove fibroids means I can’t carry to term). I know, that’s wrong, but #IJS!!!! LOL!! 

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Apr30

NBA Newsflash

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hands on a basketballby Weusi

So … when I started writing this, Shelli saw the title and was like, “what is that?”

This is just a little something for you to cause some trouble when you are in the mix with a few  basketball fans.

So … the NBA started in 1949. Why is this important? It’s not. But it is INCREDIBLE to me that, in the 64 years history of the NBA, only ONE man has admitted that he was gay. And it happened on Monday 4/29/13. After 12 seasons in the NBA, currently with the Washington Wizards, Jason Collins says, “I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay.” Now, why is a straight male writing about it on a natural hair blog?

jason-collins-profile-single-image-cut

Because this is the kind of moment in time that will be easily brushed over. Yet if you consider the power and influence some professional athletes have in American culture, it is of great social importance. It can be called significant by different people for different reasons. I am not here to direct the conversation in any direction. You don’t have to reply to this post. I just want to share the information. OK … but for real … I do hope that you bring this up in different circles! 

Read the essay written by Jason Collins for SportsIllustrated.com here.

And here are words of support from other athletes.

Now that you are equipped with some tools to cause some trouble … my work is done here!

SHiNE

(P.S. Because I’m a soccer/football fan and am hoping that there are people in other soccer/football countries that read this, I’m throwing this in too.)

Apr30

42: Part II

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42-Movie-Chadwick-Boseman looking backby Weusi

 

“42″ was number one at the box office its opening weekend and my dude Chadwick Boseman was everywhere in the media! He even got a style spread in TIME Magazine.

chad 3

Shelli and I saw the movie. I enjoyed it … but, like I said before, I am a little biased. In the end, I wanted more. But I understand that it wasn’t a bio-pic. This was really a G rated family film, but due to the language of the time, a PG-13 rating was appropriate. This could have easily been R rated if it were more depicting American history of the time with a more raw, different perspective. There was a lot more to the story that they could have shared, but this was about his first season. I am sure that if the film would have explored more of his career, it would have delved deeper into his life. HMMMM … maybe they’ll do another film … “the later years?” Yeah, I wish! Either way … I hope that people enjoyed it and will continue to support the film in upcoming weeks. Last weekend, it was number 3 in the box office. Let’s keep this film out there for our kids to see! AND please continue to support Chadwick Boseman!

There was another important outcome of the movie. We see glimpses of Jackie Robinson as a patriotic veteran. More importantly, people looked into the life of Jackie Robinson and went beyond the sugar-coated, storybook portrayal to explore the man. Here we find that in his quest to be a good American citizen, he mindfully helped to destroy the life of one of this country’s most significant personalities: PAUL ROBESON.

ROBESON

As an activist, lawyer, athlete, vocalist and film star, Mr. Robeson was more significant to american history than Mr. Robinson.

Jackie_Robinson_at_HUAC

But Jackie Robinson went to congress to speak against Paul Robenson!?! Read more about it here. Years later, Robinson second guessed his actions. Either way, read a little more about the type of man he was through some exerts from First Class Citizenship, where he has some interesting letter exchange between the likes of Martin Luther King Jr, John F. Kenndy, Richard Nixon and Malcolm X. They are all very interesting to me. But I’m a lil’ geeky like that.

That’s all … for now …

SHiNE

Apr13

42

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42-movie-posterby Weusi

This is gonna be a short post …

There is a movie called “42″ that opened Thursday.

The movie is about Jackie Robinson.

If you notice, the movie trailers aren’t full of baseball highlights. Mr. Robinson’s story is about so much more than baseball. It is about the spirit of a man and is an important part of American and Black history.

Hear from Chadwick Boseman on why women should go see this film too …

Access Hollwood: Chadwick Boseman on 42 Movie (Part I)

Access Hollywood: Chadwick Boseman on 42 Movie (Part II)

In full disclosure … Chadwick Boseman is someone that I have known for years and am very proud of!

SHiNE

42 couple image

Apr2

I Know You Think Your Hair is Natural, But …

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by Weusi

Hairscapades has created a beautiful community of natural hair enthusiast. One of beauty, power and influence.

SO … I present this in honor of you all (Ignore the fact that this is not my work and that I don’t know whose it is!)

natural hair mural(Source: Street Art Utopia)

 

 

SHiNE

Mar4

Hubby Hair Stylist??

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NaturalMe4Cby Weusi

Shelli’s friend Courtney sent this article from TheRoot.com to her, Great Video: “My Husband Does My Twist Out.” (Watch the videos by NaturalMe4C here [part 1] and here [part 2].)

Right from the beginning, I knew I was gonna write about it. Excuse me? What did you ask? Why am I so enthralled by this particular video? Well, because there are a bunch of things about the video that I can relate to and appreciate. Like what, you ask? Oh … I’ll be honored to let you know. SO … in no particular order …

THE TOP 5 REASONS WHY I LOVE THESE VIDEOS

  1. I relate to knowing a few natural hair terms and feeling pride when I get a chance to use them … even when I am wrong when trying to slide them into a conversation!
  2. When Shelli finally noticed me, there was someone else trying to impress her. I had to sit there and watch. It wasn’t too bad though. I just paid attention to her fine ass!
  3. I believe in the idea of wanting to do your Significant Other’s hair as an act of love and not as an act of beautification. BUT … I also understand why it doesn’t happen!
  4. I believe in creativity … and the HARP METHOD and in the SPRAY & PRAY! The HARP METHOD is like a multi-tasking, multi-finger detangling method. And the SPRAY & PRAY is … well … it is what it sounds like. Spray something and pray that it works! I make a motion that we immediately include them both in the natural hair care lexicon!
  5. The main reason I love this video is because it was made to share love and laughter! And I support the sharing of love and laughter. (See her face at the 2:40 mark in part 1!)

And in conclusion … My suggestion for the week ahead is calculate how much time you spend on hair porn and make sure that you spend AT LEAST  that amount of QUALITY TIME with your Significant Other. You can even offer to wash your S.O.’s hair or massage their scalp! (Be careful … the scalp massage is a SERIOUS MATTER! I’ll tell you about that at another time!)

Have a great week!

SHiNE

p.s. … NO .. I am not doing Shelli’s hair … I like her smile … Messing with her hair would create a non-smile reaction … possibly tears … so … NAH!!!

Feb13

Product Review: Shea Moisture Stuff

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IMG_7959by Weusi

Today, I decided to try my hand at writing a few product reviews. I can’t get all hair-nerd like and break down the ingredients, slippage, porosity, alkaline balance and explain my preparation. All I can really say is either I like or dislike things. Here I go anyway …

Do you remember about a month ago when I went to that Shea Moisture pop up shop hosted by Jor-El aka Mane Man? (If you missed it, you can check out the post here.) I was proud of myself for being able to pick out at least one thing that I KNEW Shelli liked, because in my interviews, so many S.O.’s don’t know anything about what products their mate uses. While a part of me was proud, at the same time, I was a little embaressed that I could only pick one thing. I knew she had a few Shea Moisture products around, but I only recognized one as something she liked and uses. For real, there were so many products to choose from.

Weusi and Jor-El of Mane Man Blog

As I awaited a text from Shelli to find out what else she wanted, I looked at some of the things in the men’s line of products. Y’all know me a little by now … I am not one who usually takes notice of what my hair looks or physically feels like. I don’t style my hair. I could care less about my hair. I just have to feel comfortable. If Shelli says I look ok … I am ok. I know what I like. I like to wash and go. But I also know my skill set and expertise. So … I asked Jor-El and some of the shop staff what they might suggest. I respect Jor-El so much that I made purchases based soley on his recomendation. But it took a few weeks for me to actually try anything.

Why do I even mention that it took a while to use the products? The answer is that these entries are suppossed to give you some insight into the mind of an S.O. So, here is a peek into my mind … I think that I felt a little awkward because I actually spent some money on a “MEN’S PRODUCT.” What? Why does this matter? Wow … y’all have so many questions. I am glad that you asked. Let me tell you …

My circle of male friends and professional colleagues span diverse demographics. ALL of us like nice things. ALL of us like feelling comfortable. Yet, even those self-admitted metro sexuals feel “somekindaway” about making that initial purchase of a product that we know is marketed to us because we are a male and like nice things. We are even funny about using those products when they are gifted to us.

I am sure that you have heard the various sayings about men being wired so that their thoughts are led by logic and not sensitivity. This is one of those times where that logic is supported. Many times we want things to fullfill a function. Toothpaste … cleans teeth. Lotion … keeps you from being ashey and women laughig at you because they think that you are trifflin’. Soap … keeps your body clean. Shampoo cleans your hair … and sometimes makes it smell different. I’m just sayin’ … this is how we often think. Anyway …

I picked up the Moisture Retention Shampoo, because every once in a while I am reminded by Shelli that my quaff is looking a little dry. (Thank you my love … I think?!?) After it sat in a corner of the shower for a few weeks (You’ve seen pictures of Shelli’s PJ collection. You know I didn’t need it!), I tried it.

SM Raw Shea Moisture Retention Shampoo

Cool lather. The bottle dispersed an appropriate amount. Smell was ok … natural and neutral. Then … got out the shower and touched it, and there are a few things that stood out. One was that it really felt like my natural curl pattern. The second thing I noticed is that after it dried, it looked hydrated and healthy. (Haha … I’m impressed with myself that I can even knowledgeably speak about my 4Aish mixed texture curl pattern and what healthy hair looks like!) I think that I like this stuff. Honesly, I can’t say that I like it better than anything else, because I’ve never really payed attention to the differences between shampoos. Meh!?! But I can say that I like this and will be claiming it as MY SHAMPOO and everything else has to beat it!

shea moisture conditioner

About a week later I tried the Shea Moisture Restorative Conditioner that Shelli had under the bathroom sink. All I am saying is about this is … I went out of town on business and one of the first comments I had was about how Shelli has my hair all soft and sexy looking! I let them know it was also in part due to my new Shea Moisture prodicts but … yeah, I gotta give Shelli her credit.

Jor-El also suggested that I try the Three Butters Wash & Scrub. He gave it the highest praise. Honestly, in my mind, I was like, “This is soap. OK … body wash. It cleans your bod. It’s cool that it’s all natural, but all that really matters is that it gets me clean.” Again it had been sitting there for about a week and I hadn’t tried it …

shea moisture bodywash

Now, I’m in the shower. I read the ingredients. “It really is like … all natural.” I take a little whiff. “Hmm … It doesn’t smell all earthy like dirt and mixed nuts.” Then … a nice little dollop was all it took. A good lather and in the end … I felt clean! “It works for me!” THEN, after using it for about a week, Shelli and I are snuggled up and (in my mind) she touches my shoulder and says something like, “Your skin is so soft and sexy.” In my head, I freaked out! I wanted to jump up and go buy a case of the stuff! But instead, I played it cool and told her how much I liked the Shea Moisture Wash & Scrub. SO …

Hairscapadians: Get this for your S.O. and then enjoy touchin’ on em!

Significant Others: If you’re reading this, go order some … and get touched!

IMG_7955

As I am writing this, I am traveling home after working in DC for a week … and I just realized that I forgot my Wash & Scrub in DC!

*NOTE: If anyone from Shea Moisture is reading this, PLEASE contact Shelli on where to send me stuff! Imma fan! And look at how beautiful Shelli is … I need help to keep up! Send it immediately! I want to show Shelli that I wash more than my shoulders! What? My arms are sexy too! ;-)

SHiNE

Jan23

Be Thankful

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Wei_on_stairsby Weusi

ok …

I live in the suburbs of NJ. It is pretty much a carefree world. But the other night, something was wrong …

On Sunday morning, I couldn’t sleep. In the pre-dawn hours, my non-diagnosed adult attention deficit disorder kicked into overdrive! I crept out of bed, sat on the couch and wrote for hours. I wrote about everything. World politics. Community. Organizational visioning. Family. Business. Creative ideas of all kinds just kept flowing. Some I will share with you (or someone) one day and others will never see the light of day … until my passing and the Smithsonian Institute seeks out the relics of my genius!

man u v tottenham

And, when the sun came up, I watched REAL football from the BPL and AFCON for a few hours. It was great! Chelsea and Manchester United won! Eventually, I grabbed bowl of cereal and fell asleep while some cartoons played in the background. Then, I watched American football. I was glad to see both underdog teams. The 49ers and the Ravens won. Somewhere during the course of the evening, it really hit me that … I did NOTHING AT ALL Sunday.

I flipped a few channels and quickly jumped into semi-nerd mode when I heard Martin Espada on the Bill Moyer Show reading a poem about visiting Fredrick Douglass’s grave site on Obama’s first inauguration. Then he made a comment about Mr. Douglass …

Fredrick Douglass was tireless … he did not see social change as beginning and ending with the election of Abraham Lincoln, so why should we see social change as beginning and ending with the election of Barack Obama.

He also made some other interesting comments …

The essence of gang warfare, according to Luis Rodriguez and others that work with gangs, is the destruction of the mirror image.

(To put this in better context watch the entire show here.)

As I watched, I was reminded that the following day was going to be another historic day in American history. Then Monday arrived. Barack H. Obama publicly accepted his role as President of the United States for a second term. I watched TV coverage of the swearing in, and some of the auxiliary events, on and off for a few hours. I watched the first family and other honored guest as they responded to the festivities. And, although people watching is what I enjoy the most about these type of events, there was no mistaking that Barack Obama was the man of the day. Not in the same way he was in 2009. But, he unquestionably owned the day. Obama is an incredible writer (2013 inaugural speech transcript) and orator.

Now, this is not the time to get into my views of his policies or how he implements them. And, since I don’t know the dude, I won’t comment on if I like him or dislike him. (But we did have a moment where he gave me the brother to brother nod while in the White House Green Room!) This is what I will say …

We live in a time where a generation sees historical changes around the world all of the time. At a button’s click, they witness things in live time that will be in history books for centuries. Over 4 years ago, Obama headed a campaign rooted in the ideas of HOPE and CHANGE. With the public voting him in for a second term, the statement is that CHANGE and HOPE are not just ideas anymore. Obama is the personification of these ideas. The youth of this country have lived through and witnessed what is the equivalent of a dream becoming truth. They saw a miracle happen before their eyes. Now, they can believe anything can happen. Some will believe. Some won’t. There are a few that will even put in the work and put up with the discomfort to make their dreams become a reality.

Barack Obama’s presence in the White House wasn’t even a dream a generation ago. It was unimaginable. Now, although this generation of youth don’t know a time when the US wasn’t at war, they have seen a war end. Obama has shown the youth of the United States something different: A future that has new options. For that … I salute you, President Obama (and the First Family).

AND …

Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (What? Did you think I was going to leave him out!?!),

I personally can’t get with the non-violence thing. But, I have a great deal of respect for the movement and for the advances ro which the Civil Rights Movement is directly responsible. Thank you Dr. King!

martin-luther-king-jr-quote

AND …

A belated birthday shout out to THE WORLD’S GREATEST ATHLETE/ACTIVIST …

ali for trayvonAli for Trayvon

That’s all …
be thankful …
SHiNE

Jan20

Weusi’s Most Memorable Movies

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SoundOfMusicby Weusi

A few weeks ago, Shelli made her list of the 20 memorable movies of her past. Here is my list.

As I stated in an earlier post, I wasn’t really into the movies’ experience, so it took me a little while to remember this many. These are numbered, but are in no particular order … in part … because they are all SOOO GREEAAATTT!!!

1. Rocky: It was an underdog story of inspiration. This may have been the first time I saw blood and pugilism so close up. This is where I think desensitization started.

2. Daughters of the Dust: Breathtaking visuals. I cried.

3. Rambo: I am not explaining this … it was Rambo!

4. The Color Purple: I shared this film with a group of adjudicated teens at a group home I was working. The conversation afterwards got DEEP!

5. Sound of Music: My first musical. It made me love the music. Still one of my favorites.

6. The Education of Sonny Carson: Watch this with an adult who has seen it and can give some cultural, historical and socio-political background. Also, keep an ear open for the various clips that were sampled by hip hop artist.

sonny carson

7. Beat Street: I was a break dancer on the east coast, so this was a no brainer. In retrospect, there were some hella corny moments. But, Rae Dawn Chong and the other great actors made them seem so real! Haha! I wonder where the dude that played the younger brother Lee is now? He was funky fresh dope!

beatstreet

*Did you know that the director of Beat Street was Stan Lathan? Among other things, Stan directed episodes of Sanford & Son, co-produced HBO’s Def Poetry Jam with Russell Simmons … AND he fathered and raised actress Sanaa Lathan. He didn’t do that with Russell though.

stan and sanaa lathan

8.Carmen: Do I really have to explain!?! Dorothy Dandridge and Harry Belafonte!

Dorothy Dandridge and Harry Belafonte

9. Bugsy Malone: This is the one with a young Jody Foster and Scott Baio. Kids play adults in the film. Instead of bullets, the guns shoot marshmallow fluff stuff. Dope flick!

bugsy malone

10. Putney Swoop: This was a film by Robert Downey Sr. that starred Melvin Van Peebles. This film spoke to me about integrity and black pride, as well as being a conscious consumer.

11. Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song: This right here?! Blew my mind! And, it was Mario Van Peebles film debut.

12. Poltergeist: I don’t like scary movies. I don’t like the concept of going to a movie to be scared by something. I believe in the angels of my ancestors. Some call that ghost/spirits. Not only did I walk out of this movie after skipping school to go see it, I walked (I don’t know how many miles) home!

13. Baraka: The film had a dope name! Everyone was surprised that I had never heard of it before. And I hadn’t. Not only hadn’t I heard of it, I had never seen or experienced anything like this. It was shard with me by a circle of friends and family that were pushing me to get out of the bland suburban khaki thoughts and to embrace the spiritual journey that I was on and to delve more into my creative and artistic self. THANK YOU Joelle, Saul, Marcia and the Red Clay Collective!

14. The Spook Who Sat by the Door: Sam Greenlee’s film about … I’m not tellin’!

15. Sankofa: A film professor at Howard University made this film, giving moving pictures and a story to the concept of Sankofa. An African idea that in order to move toward your future, one must know their past.

16. Under the Cherry Moon: Prince in a black and white film and the answer to … “Where do you go to purchase a James Brown album!?!”

17. Purple Rain: ‘NUFF SAID

Purple Rain

18. Forrest Gump: This wasn’t just funny to me. My aunt was severely emotionally and mentally handicapped. My mother is a special needs teacher. I grew up around people with special needs. I loved seeing a fun, empowering, triumphant story that showed a bright future. I will watch this every time it is on!

19. Victory: I was a soccer/football player that wanted to be Pelé. This was that soccer/football movie with Pelé and Sylvester Stallone.

victory

20. Coonskin/Street Fight: This was a CRAZY, super sociopolitical animated and live action film that had Barry White, Scatman Crothers and Phillip Michael-Thomas voicing the main characters: A bear, a fox and a rabbit. It was by the same dude that did Fritz the Cat, so it was HELLA adult content! *Read this Wikipedia entry on this film. Crazy!

21. The Wiz: Michael Jackson, Diana Ross and Richard Pryor … and, “I wouldn’t be caught dead in red.” (I don’t care for red.)

22. Shawshank Redemtion: It took me a long time to see this movie. But, when I finally saw it, I was like, “Yeah … This is dope!” I like it when the bad guys get away. So, when the good guys are bad guys (or vice versa depending on your perspective) and they get away, it’s even better!

23.Menace to Society: My pops called me and told me we needed to go watch this together. He was worried about me. We watched it. We talked afterwards. He cried a little. I teared up. It wasn’t the film as much as the impact of the conversation afterwards. (I know he’s gonna read this … lol.)

24. Blazing Saddles: “Ooh baby, you are so talented … And they are sooo dumb!”

blazing saddles

25. Dead Presidents: It was me, my pops and his friend. It was the night before the Million Man March. On top of the film being great and the excitement of the occasion, I couldn’t sleep because, after the film, my pop’s friend was complaining about his Post Traumatic War Syndrome senses tingling!

1995-dead-presidents-poster1

*Honorable mentions go to:

The Goonies: I know. The Goonies? But it was a fearless sense of adventure and the drive to do something good for a greater community. It also spoke to my want to be nerdy and tech savvy and my want to be a rough and tumble adventurer!

The Goonies

Crooklyn: Because it was close to my experience when my sister and I used to go visit my grandmother in Charrlottesville, VA during the summer!

Saturday Night Fever: One of the BEST movie soundtracks ever! Plus it was a great story and look into the disco party scene.

saturday night fever

Shelli … this was fun … I feel like we should have done this earlier in our relationship. I’ve got my next list coming soon!

SHiNE
Jan15

Claim Your Space!!

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Weis_corner

by Weusi

Yes … a couple of weeks ago, I put on the do rag thingy … and this week I have another little confession …

I have started to acquire products. In fact … I am proud to say that I have a FULL corner in the shower. What? How did this happen to a manly-man like myself? I am glad that you asked … I’m blaming Jor-El, Shelli and Shea Moisture products.

What you see here is MY (not Shelli’s) shampoo, conditioner, body wash & scrub, magic Dr. Bonner Peppermint super soap and relaxing bath salts.

I just changed my mind. I am not explaining myself. I am allowing myself to be the kind of man that takes care of himself in 2013. I like nice things and will enjoy them. I will get manicures and pedicures. Why shouldn’t I? Who likes a man with messed up hands and feet? (Not Shelli!)

I’ll give you the reason why I chose these products in my next post, but THIS post? THIS POST is about S.O.’s not being peons in the homes of PJs. CLAIM YOUR SPACE. It may start with a corner in the shower, but maybe one day one of us will get our own countertop space in the bathroom! And, sooner or later, we’ll get our own closet space and man cave!

But it has to start somewhere … so CLAIM YOUR SPACE! Display your products proudly!

NOTE: Beware of the urge to become a product junkie and product junkie like symptoms. What are the symptoms? Great question … I will tell you in a later post.

SHiNE